August 13, 2014 / 12:25PM

There’s a lake by my house. There’s a lot of birds by that lake. They poop and stuff so it’s gross and people don’t want them there. So people put up this terrifying realistic coyote that scared the shit out of me on my run this morning because I couldn’t figure out if it was real or not. And the birds don’t care because they figured out it was fake. I know it doesn’t have legs but it does have a scary snarling face.

There’s a lake by my house. There’s a lot of birds by that lake. They poop and stuff so it’s gross and people don’t want them there. So people put up this terrifying realistic coyote that scared the shit out of me on my run this morning because I couldn’t figure out if it was real or not. And the birds don’t care because they figured out it was fake. I know it doesn’t have legs but it does have a scary snarling face.

things that scare methe hazards of exercisefake coyoteslakeswtf

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August 13, 2014 / 12:05PM 2 notes

There’s a lake by my house. There’s a lot of birds by that lake. They poop and stuff so it’s gross and people don’t want them there. So people put up this terrifying realistic coyote that scared the shit out of me on my run this morning because I couldn’t figure out if it was real or not. And the birds don’t care because they figured out it was fake. I know it doesn’t have legs but it does have a scary snarling face.

There’s a lake by my house. There’s a lot of birds by that lake. They poop and stuff so it’s gross and people don’t want them there. So people put up this terrifying realistic coyote that scared the shit out of me on my run this morning because I couldn’t figure out if it was real or not. And the birds don’t care because they figured out it was fake. I know it doesn’t have legs but it does have a scary snarling face.

things that scare methe hazards of exercisefake coyoteslakeswtf

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August 6, 2014 / 5:00PM

Season 1, Episode 4 - (The Sound John Locke’s Knife Makes When It Hits A Tree To Demonstrate How Badass John Locke Is)

Wild boar attack! I was once almost attacked by wild boars, except I wasn’t stranded on an island and instead of just standing there, I ran away. I pretty much just ran around in the road for awhile, my idea was that if they started chasing me, they would get hit by a car. I didn’t take into account that I might also be hit by a car. It was confusing and terrifying and I was really drunk.

Enough about me and more about Lost. The big catchphrase of this episode/John Locke is “Don’t tell me what I can’t do.” As with Kate in the last episode, we find out some secrets about John Locke. First of all, he’s not Canadian. He has a phone girlfriend named Helen and oh yeah he was paralyzed from the waist down for four years only to be miraculously healed after the plane crashed. 

There are many sad parts of this episode. John Locke’s boss Randy, is a huge asshole. He’s picking on someone who is in a wheel chair. Granted at the time that we see this, we don’t know about John Locke’s condition, but Randy sure does. He even ridicules him about wanting to go on a walkabout, prompting the first “Don’t tell me what I can’t do.” That’s totally off limits Randy. John Locke invited Helen, who I’m guessing is like a phone sex person, to Australia with him and she tells him no, that’s another “Don’t tell me what I can’t do.” John Locke still goes to Australia but the walkabout guy is pissed that he’s in a wheelchair and John Locke once again says, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do.” He says it a bunch more times after that. 

Shannon and Boone are pretty annoying in this episode, shitting on other people for their own good. Boone was one of my favorite characters but this time around I really don’t like him. He sees that Rose needs help but then badgers Jack to go talk to her. Spoiler Boone dies at the end of this season and I’m kind of excited about it. Honestly I think the only reason I liked his character was because he is so darn good looking. 

My favorite part of this episode was this exchange in the beginning of this episode. Sorry if I got it wrong. 

Claire: Somebody’s in there.

Sayid: Everyone in there is dead. 

Jack: Sawyer. 

Sawyer: Right behind you jackass. 

Also Sawyer and Hurley fight over peanuts. 

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August 4, 2014 / 10:00PM

Found another one of these. This one has no Advil, but does have tampons, lip balm, TOOTHBRUSHES, sour drops and body ash. I don’t know what body ash is but I don’t want it to come out I the same vending machine as tampons.

Found another one of these. This one has no Advil, but does have tampons, lip balm, TOOTHBRUSHES, sour drops and body ash. I don’t know what body ash is but I don’t want it to come out I the same vending machine as tampons.

time of the monthwhat?creativity?

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August 4, 2014 / 4:00PM 1 note

Season 1, Episode 3: All about Kate

In this episode, Kate’s secret is revealed! She’s Canadian!

She’s also a criminal, I guess, though we don’t know what she did yet and I can’t remember. Jack finds out at the beginning of the episode and Hurley just stumbles upon it. Good job Jack for leaving that incriminating paper lying around.

This is also the first episode that has flashback from before the plane crash. Kate is roaming around Australia and works on a farm until the farmer turns her in. She could have escaped only if she didn’t save the farmers life. So I guess that she’s nice after all. 

I’m kind of upset about Jack’s general attitude about the Kate situation. He said multiple times that this wasn’t his business. It kind of is though. I mean she’s running around with a gun and he just passes the responsibility. It’s because she is pretty I think. He’s only known her for what 72 hours at the most and he’s already in love with her to the point where he just lets her walk around even though she could be a serial killer. He says that the past doesn’t matter because they died three days ago so he doesn’t want to know what she did. This means that Jack has already given up on being rescued. Again Kate could be a serial killer and he’s like no biggie, just do better next time. I was never a fan of the whole Jack, Kate, Sawyer thing and this is probably part of it. 

Something that made me sad in this episode was when Jin told Sun to clean up because she was gross and followed it up by saying that he loved her. Jin and Sun are some of my favorite characters but Jin is so mean here. He sort of redeems himself by tenderly touching her hair while she is sleeping during the heartwarming montage at the end of the episode.

 

My favorite part of this episode was when Walt got reunited with his dog. I almost cried. 

This could be a stock photo. 

LostKateCanadianJackHurleyMurderVincentWaltSunJinsawyer

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August 2, 2014 / 7:33PM 4 notes

Everything you need for that time of the month. Advil, tampons, lip balm and sour drops.

Everything you need for that time of the month. Advil, tampons, lip balm and sour drops.

time of the monthsour dropsreally?

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August 2, 2014 / 5:00PM 2 notes

Season 1, Pilot Parts 1 & 2: I Hate Shannon So Much

I lied, I do remember something else from the series finale but I was too embarrassed to say. I cried at the end because of the eye thing, when it ends like it started with Jack closing his eye. Sorry if this ruined it for you. In my defense if any movie or television show is mildly emotional I will cry. At the end of Benjamin Button I famously had to leave the room because I was weeping. 

This pilot was good, it was exciting and fast paced. There were explosions and drama all tied into one. While watching I was reminded of which characters I liked or hated. It almost seems as if they are trying to make you loathe Shannon and if they are, I totally fell for it. She’s the worst. The first shot of her is just her standing there screaming while Jack helps everyone. Way to be Shannon, way to be. She refuses to eat or help out because she thinks she will be rescued soon, but she makes sure her nails are pretty. When Boone gets at her for being a lazy fuck, she decides to go on a hike even though no one wants her to, complains the whole time and is confused about whether or not she can speak French. Boone isn’t that great either. He was one of my favorite characters, though, probably because of his eyes. They are really pretty. He comically looks for pens for Jack to stab Rose’s throat after fighting with Jack about the proper way to give CPR. “I’m a lifeguard.” Shut up. 

This episode has some serious foreshadowing which of course I would not have noticed the first time through. Locke explains to Walter that backgammon is a battle between good and evil, the white and black pieces. He also says that backgammon is the oldest game, which is dumb. I always thought the whole explanation of the island and Jacob and the smoke monster was something they made up on the fly. They said oh this show is making no sense, lets invent something even more non-sensical to make sense. Kate also says, “We have to go back,” in reference to finding Jack in the jungle. OOOOOoooooo.

Something I’m sad about in this episode was the pilot who died from the smoke monster. The actor played a beloved character from Alias and I was excited to see him in this show. I was even inventing memories of him in the show. Sadly he died. 

image

That’s him on the window there.  

My favorite part of this episode was when Sawyer pulled a sandshrew and used sand attack while fighting Sayid. It’s in the first 10 seconds of this video. Also Locke does this:image

But Kate is a bitch about it. 

LOSTSeason 1PilotJohn LockeShannonJackKateSawyerSayidBoonethe worstsandshrewbackgammonwe have to go back

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August 1, 2014 / 9:41PM 3 notes

This Is What I’m Doing

So I like tumblr, but I’m busy and lazy and I forget about it, but I don’t want to anymore. I do however watch a lot of TV. I live alone now, so the TV is like my invisible friends. I also don’t know if this post is making sense at all because my allergies are messing with my brain. Anyway, I like TV so I thought that I would post about TV. I like TV so much that I usually re-watch seasons of my favorite shows. I’ve seen Battlestar Galactica three times through since the summer of 2012, I’ve seen most episodes of 30 Rock upwards of 8 times, I watch a lot of TV a lot of times. The only TV show that I have failed to re-watch is Lost. I was devoted to Lost while it aired. I first started watching it because my mom thought it was a show similar to Survivor, and who doesn’t like Survivor. During college, a friend and I both had class during Lost on whatever night it aired so we would tape it and gather everyone in his room to watch it later. Short story shorter, I was really into Lost which is why it is weird to me that I have never watched it again. Maybe I was disappointed or maybe I needed in my life so I felt betrayed when it ended. I don’t know how I felt when it ended or why I haven’t tried it. The only thing I remember from the series finale was that I had to explain it to someone over facebook chat. So this is what I’m going to do: I’m going to watch Lost again, and write posts about it. I may not make it very far or I may make it to the end. I have no idea if the posts are going to be episode specific or just some general things. This is just to get me write on tumblr and to give me something new to watch so that I don’t burn out on Top Chef. So without further ado, I’m going to take some heavy duty sinus medication and fall asleep to the first episode of the first season of Lost. 

LOSTtelevisionadventures?can't feel my brain

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June 27, 2014 / 12:03AM 295 notes

(Source: pizzashack, via vhsdreamz)

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June 10, 2014 / 4:03PM

The most excellent bagged lunch.

The most excellent bagged lunch.

pizzalunchbagsgood things come in brown paper bag packages

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