Someone's Been Fooling You

Prom and My Armpits

Not sure if this story is TMI but I think its funny so I’m going to write it anyway.

I was excited about my prom. I had gotten a dress, a date and talked my friends into going. We were getting a limo and had hair and makeup appointments. I was ready to go, except for my armpits. Shaving wasn’t enough and I wanted to get rid of all the stubble in there so I could dance with my arms up and no worries. My solution was an old bottle of Nair that I found in our hall closet. I slathered the Nair on, following the directions and I was immediately in intense pain. I thought, maybe it’s the Nair working its magic but after thirty seconds of increasingly severe burning and stinging I realized that something was wrong. I rushed to wipe it off but the damage had already been done. My armpits were swollen and painful and I’m not sure if it even worked because they were so swollen. This was three days before prom and my armpits were even worse to look at than they were before. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t put my arms down or wear deodorant without almost fainting. I’m not sure what the problem was. The Nair was very old Nair and I used this Nair on a very sensitive part of my body. Maybe I’m just allergic to Nair. My armpits were less painful but still slightly swollen by prom but I definitely didn’t raise my arms. Don’t use Nair on your armpits and if you do make sure it hasn’t expired.

GOT A LITTLE TIPSY AND WATCHED JURASSIC PARK WITH MY PARENTS. NOT A BAD WAY TO SPEND A WEDNESDAY NIGHT,

Today I went birding. I had so much fucking fun. I would recommend it to everyone. It’s like pokemon but you can’t keep them or make them fight. I did see I goose chase an egret though.

While my mom or dad was driving me around New Haven once I saw a man drop a big thing of soup on the ground. It was like those plastic containers you get from Chinese places for soup but bigger. That soup thing just toppled right over and I remember the man’s look of sheer terror as all the contents spilled to the ground in a huge wave. It was equal parts sad and awesome. I’m sorry that your soup fell man on the sidewalk, but I’m glad I was there to see it. 

Watching a cat this week. Do you know what it gave me for Christmas? Vomit.